Praised be the bored...

She rambles at me incessantly about things I could care less about.

I turn my hearing off and watch her tell me a story.

Her eyes get wide and her eyebrows move up and down. Hands become animated and she begins to bounce.

I try to politely cut her off. I have things to do. She misses my subtle hints and continues to ramble on.

Mentally I'm banging my head against the wall. Knowing I will have to shut her down abruptly now.

"That's really neat!" I tell her with a forced smile. "See ya." I grab my things and bolt away from her.

During the entire conversation I said nothing. I never had a chance. All I could do was sit and nod.

That's how it always is. She lets loose a verbal onslaught and I look for the nearest exit.

I am convinced that I am a fly-paper for freaks.

A day in the life of me...

Illness has invaded my body. As much as I fought with vitamin C and healthy foods, the dreaded bug got a hold of me. I sound like Harvey Fierstein and my nose varies between being a faucet and being packed with concrete.

That being said, my work week has also been on the hellish side.

Feeling lousy and constantly having someone on my ass all day has made me cranky and hyper-sensitive. My quiet time spent in my head produces nothing but worries and thinking. Thinking and worries.

I posed a question because the thought had stuck with me. Somebody else’s words were on repeat mode in my head. I don’t know why. It made me wonder and played on my insecurities.

As I lay down in bed, my head heavy with sickness and my body aching from coughing all day he answered me in a song. His wobbly voice calmed my nerves and soothed my soul. He is the best nurse ever.

if not for you,
babe, i couldn't find the door,
couldn't even see the floor,
i'd be sad and blue,
if not for you.

if not for you,
babe, i'd lay awake all night,
wait for the mornin' light
to shine in through,
but it would not be new,
if not for you.

if not for you
my sky would fall,
rain would gather too.
without your love i'd be nowhere at all,
i'd be lost if not for you,
and you know it's true.

if not for you
my sky would fall,
rain would gather too.
without your love i'd be nowhere at all,
oh! what would i do
if not for you.

if not for you,
winter would have no spring,
couldn't hear the robin sing,
i just wouldn't have a clue,
anyway it wouldn't ring true,
if not for you.

(Bob Dylan)

Raven lunatics...

The cool rain fell steadily all day.

Every time I looked out the window, I could swear the lawn got a little thicker and a bit greener.

The birds huddled in the still bare trees glaring down at me.

Our little battle has already begun. Their dive-bombing poohs at my driveway and me shouting at the trees to scare them away.

If only I could crap on them myself.

That would really make my day.

Long arms of the lawn...

The grass is finally starting to grow. Uneven sections pepper my yard, but I'm happy for them nonetheless.

The bulbs I planted in the fall are popping up in places I had forgotten about.

Birds are singing, bugs are flying, my weeping cherry tree is in bloom and the pink magnolia is almost at its most glorious.

Then I hear it. Natures sounds are blasted away.

Weeeee-wee-we-weeeee-weee

Rm-rmmmmmm-rmrmrmrmrmrm

Bzzzz-bzzz-bzzzz-bzzzzzzz

Ah, the sound of the lawn dogs revving up their yard tools.

I forgot that it's that time of year again when the neighborhood men puff out their chests, do the Tarzan yell, and attack their yards.

I watch with amusement as the guys mow, blow, and chop the greenery into landscape perfection. All hoping that their yard is better looking than all the others.

My property is not as quite primped as that. My lawn is green. Who cares if it's mostly weeds? It's thick in most places and is green. That's good enough for me.

My flowers are pretty, if not placed in odd spots, and my trees are beautiful.

I smile to myself because I don't care what they think of my yard. They're too stressed out about their own to worry about mine.

Let's just say that my lack of worry in this instance makes them feel better about themselves.

It's a small gift I can give without them even knowing it.

Only the shadow knows...

I watched her as she stomped past me. Her lips pursed tightly to make a sharp line through her face. Her scowl unmistakable.

She's bent out of shape.

I am the reason for her sullen attitude.

She tried to play a game with me. Unfortunately for her she didn't realize I knew all the rules.

Her passive aggressive move made me force her to up the ante. She didn't know how and, therefore, lost.

It doesn't make me feel good to win. I never even wanted to play in the first place.

I guess it taught her a valuable lesson.

If you're going to play with the big dogs, prepare to be bitten on your ass.

Two strikes, no balls...

Evicted from his home, he grabbed the last remnants of his former life.

It's amazing how little he took. His belongings went in a few boxes and then he was gone.

His new home is only temporary. A weigh station he's back to with what appears to be the same pile of crap he took before.

She has already changed the locks. Changed her attitude. Changed her life.

My telephone rings and the late night calls have begun.

He is lonely and needs to lean on his old and trusted friends.

Again.

Dirty Deeds...

Playing the part of "whipping boy," I took the verbal lashes. At first I was unaware I was assigned the role. I was only confused by the heat directed towards me.

I took it.

Like I usually do until I had enough and lashed back. The fight was unfair. My age and ability outweighed his youth and inexperience.

Through the years I learned to not go for the jugular. I only nipped at him. Warning any further pushing will get him somewhere he does not want to go.

As he hears the whip crack dangerously close, he backed down.

I see the hurt and anger in his eyes flashing out at me. Yet I know he's not upset with me.

Somebody else has pushed him and he's had enough.

Only venting at me is safe for him because he knows I won't really rip him apart - even though he knows I am capable.

I wish I could fight his battles for him. Protect him from all the hurts in this world. Betrayal of false friends and such.

I'd tear those little bastards down until they were bleeding pulpy masses left on the floor.

Home coming...

As I walked over the sand dune, the path to my want became easier to navigate. My inner-beach girl longing to see, hear, smell and touch the ocean was going to get her long awaited wish. Winter was over.

I stepped out on to the flattened sand and inhaled the salty goodness. The wind blew my hair in all directions and I felt the stresses of my week blow off of me.

The low roar of the surf rushing on to the beach filled my ears and I no longer heard the rattling voices in my head.

In a moments time I let it all go and welcomed the calm that the ocean always has on me.

The tide was low and the beach was long. I walked towards the water eagerly anticipating seeing the bright sparkles that the small waves leave in their wake when they get sucked back out into the ocean. The little bubbles of sea foam catch the late afternoon sunlight and glisten like water diamonds right before my eyes.

It is still too cold to take a dip or even let loose my toes to play nakedly in the sand.

But I will return in the not-too-distant-future and go barefoot. Letting my stress leak out of my feet and pour it all into the sand.

When the tide is high, the waves will come and take away the worries I had buried on the beach.

I will leave it easily and nature will absorb it into itself.

My slate will have been cleaned until I visit again.