Shelter me...

As I sit outside, I watch the dark clouds roll in over the horizon.

The air is starting to have that heavy feeling to it. The wind has gone stale.

You can sense a type of electricity or ozone in the air. The approaching storm looms just beyond the trees in the distance.

The birds start to find their way back to the safety of the bamboo.

A low rumble replaces the songs of the cicadas. They have gone quiet, as have the other animals in the area.

A lone apple drops off the tree and thuds on the ground. The lowering barometer pressure is forcing gravity to feel that much heavier.

Like the critters have done, I head inside to find shelter before the storm.

Nasty Canasta...

The alcohol flowed freely, as it tends to with those two.

I braced myself for the digs. Booze fuels the fire.

They call it passion.

I call it alcoholics gone wild.

Her mission is power drinking. His is to control her and still obtain the happy buzz he feels he deserves after a long week.

Theirs is a grain-induced pit-stop. They will not be our guests for the evening.

I'm not upset about it.

They tell a combined story. True facts viewed very differently by each other.

Then he says to her, "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up."

And she did.

I looked at you and saw you looking at me. Our eyes wide with disbelief. When our eyes connected I knew that wasn't something we've every done to one anther.

How little respect they have for the other that they feel comfortable in silencing the other in front of friends.

I just don't get it.

Silence of a lamb...

The rectangular pine box was sanded and carefully stained to perfection. I just wanted to run my fingers down the beautiful wood to feel the satiny finish. But you just don’t do that kind of thing without raising a few eyebrows.

Instead I was to sit and stare at it while strangers spoke about a person whom I loved. Loved me in her own weird way.

Sniffles permeated the crowd. Some were caused by sadness, some by allergies.

My earlier concern for inappropriate giggles was unfounded. My emotions had found that quiet place and were safely locked up inside me. I was blank.

What was inside the box was just the shell of the force of nature I knew.

Her laughter and vitality has been silenced. Once the casket was shut, she was gone to me.

Death has left a void that will only be filled as I continue to live.

The world is not as noisy today as it was two days ago.

I find that I miss the chaos already.

Double Dog Dare...

The wicked grin and twinkle in his eye made me laugh.

His mischievous invitation was half sincere, half dare.

I considered it for a moment. In a flash I pictured misdemeanor-ish fun and then reality set in.

If certain conditions were present, then I think I would've accepted the invitation.

But I have grown accustomed to certain comforts and this temptation would take me well beyond my boundaries.

When did I grow up?

Where did the naughty in me go?

And, who put these ridiculous boundaries up?

Mental Giant...

My legs stretch out before me.

While I'm considered short by human standards, today I feel tall.

Every now and then I find myself mentally taller than I physically am.

I wonder if that's a part of my personality busting out of my physical being.

My tall days are interesting because not only do I feel towering, my perception of things change.

I feel bigger, bolder, and more in control of things.

It's almost like I'm operating at my full potential.

Unhindered, unconcerned, and unstoppable.

One Hand...

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm worthless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette

What it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm shy but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano

What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxicab...

Alannis Morrisette

Is there a doctor in the house?

A pause in the day gives me a moment to breathe.

I survey my space and see that the "to-do" list has shrunk and the mini-fires that cropped up all week were no longer smoldering.

My shoulders slowly eased out of my ears and I think I can almost talk without my jaw clenched. The well known "stress grimace" has plagued me the last few weeks.

All work and no play makes me a crazy chick.

I'm sure this past week made me look as if I were deranged and act if I were operating on a half a cylinder.

I'm also sure this week caused me some sort of brain damage.

Does too much work kill brain cells?

Just a nibble will do...

His surly attitude was aimed towards me.

The words, if spoken by anybody else, were benign enough.

He managed to inject enough venom to strike me where it hurt the most.

My heart.

He has become a stranger before my very eyes.

Is it his lack of sleep that makes his reasoning like that of a crack-head?

Whatever the issue, I am forced to take a step back and try to not show the pain inflicted in my eyes.

Mentally I eyeball the bricks I build my wall with.

This is how it starts.

I can't shut him out. I have to let it slide and not take it personally.

Now I understand why some animals eat their young.