I love my job, I love the pay.
I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss; she is the best.
I love her boss and all the rest.
I love my office and its location.
I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and gray,
And the paper that piles up every day.
I love my chair in my padded cell.
There's nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my peers.
I love their leers and jeers and sneers.
I love my computer and its software;
I hug it often though it don't care.
I love each program and every file,
I try to understand once in a while.
I'm happy to be here, I am, I am;
I'm the happiest slave of my Uncle Sam.
I love this work; I love these chores.
I love the meetings with deadly bores.
I love my job-I'll say it again.
I even love these friendly men,
These men who've come to visit today
In lovely white coats to take me away.
ps - I don't really love my job. I wish it would get sucked up into a vortex or something over night.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland
I look forward to a righteous snow storm. Most people think I am crazy for wishing to be snowed in. It doesn't matter if it's on a weekend or during the work week. I would prefer during the work-week so I can have a snow day, but I'll take anything I can get. Why do I look forward to the snow?
The other day it snowed. There wasn't much to it. My drive home was scary at best. I slid all over the road because the township didn't treat them. It was a white knuckler. But once I got home, I got to enjoy the beauty of the frozen precipitation.
Outside it was dark. I stood in my backyard with my porch light on and looked out over the garden. From a distance, it appeared as if white feathers were falling from the sky. I could hear the snow falling. It's like the white noise you hear when your television doesn't have a channel. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. The white noise calms me. Snow muffles the sounds from the nearby street. It's quiet, and yet there's an underlying vibration that is so slight, you almost miss it. You have to listen for it. Once you know that it's there, you will always hear it.
I could see the trees being covered. The white of the snow absorbing the green of the leaves. The trees that had lost their leaves were starting to look soft again. Snow filling in the empty spaces where leaves had been only a month ago. Angular lines losing their sharpness to the softness of the snow cover.
My backyard was getting a blanket of white and it was beautiful. The snow hides a multitudes of gardening mistakes, loose boards, and dead flowers. For the moment, it's looks as if my gardening slate is clean once again. I'm sure when spring rolls around I'll be reminded of what I need to clean up and fix. But for now, I can enjoy the illusion of perfection.
When I looked up, the snow seemed to magically appear right above my head. The sky was so dark, you couldn't see much above you. The flakes were fat and clumpy. They landed softly on my head and face. My body heat melted the snowflakes almost as quickly as they land.
I bent down to feel the cold snow in my hands. I scoop some up and pack it tight. A perfect, round ball waiting to be flung at someone or something. It is a good snow. Good for snowballs and snowmen. It's wet and dense. Sticking to the trees and roads. I hurl it across the yard. A solid thump sounds out when the snowball connects with the fence. Yes, good for snowballs. I smile at the thought.
The other day it snowed. There wasn't much to it. My drive home was scary at best. I slid all over the road because the township didn't treat them. It was a white knuckler. But once I got home, I got to enjoy the beauty of the frozen precipitation.
Outside it was dark. I stood in my backyard with my porch light on and looked out over the garden. From a distance, it appeared as if white feathers were falling from the sky. I could hear the snow falling. It's like the white noise you hear when your television doesn't have a channel. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. The white noise calms me. Snow muffles the sounds from the nearby street. It's quiet, and yet there's an underlying vibration that is so slight, you almost miss it. You have to listen for it. Once you know that it's there, you will always hear it.
I could see the trees being covered. The white of the snow absorbing the green of the leaves. The trees that had lost their leaves were starting to look soft again. Snow filling in the empty spaces where leaves had been only a month ago. Angular lines losing their sharpness to the softness of the snow cover.
My backyard was getting a blanket of white and it was beautiful. The snow hides a multitudes of gardening mistakes, loose boards, and dead flowers. For the moment, it's looks as if my gardening slate is clean once again. I'm sure when spring rolls around I'll be reminded of what I need to clean up and fix. But for now, I can enjoy the illusion of perfection.
When I looked up, the snow seemed to magically appear right above my head. The sky was so dark, you couldn't see much above you. The flakes were fat and clumpy. They landed softly on my head and face. My body heat melted the snowflakes almost as quickly as they land.
I bent down to feel the cold snow in my hands. I scoop some up and pack it tight. A perfect, round ball waiting to be flung at someone or something. It is a good snow. Good for snowballs and snowmen. It's wet and dense. Sticking to the trees and roads. I hurl it across the yard. A solid thump sounds out when the snowball connects with the fence. Yes, good for snowballs. I smile at the thought.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Tequila and Lemons
Facts you should know:
1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, sometimes something good can come of it.
10 When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another look.
11 Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
And always remember.... when life hands you Lemons, ask for Tequila and Salt and call me over!
1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, sometimes something good can come of it.
10 When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another look.
11 Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
And always remember.... when life hands you Lemons, ask for Tequila and Salt and call me over!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
For Beach Baby, who needs a good laugh.
I know you've been having a rough time lately. I want to share this with you because you know me, and I want you to smile. Picture this if you will.....
After I had my child, I had lost a lot of weight. I was pretty proud of myself. I weighed less after giving birth than before I had gotten pregnant. To say I was kinda smug about it, well, that's probably exactly true.
I had returned to work. Excited to get back to work and be with my friends and co-workers again. On this particularly beautiful fall day, I had decided to wear a new mini skirt. It wasn't trashy-short, but dammit, I looked good in it. I dressed very carefully in the morning before work. Cute skirt, matching blouse, flats. I hopped in my car and drove off to work.
I worked in an industrial park at the time. Lots of trucks were moving inventory in and out 24 hours a day. So it wasn't unusual to see trucks moving slowly down the road. Sometimes they would blast their air horns at us girls. Sometimes to scare the crap out of us in the morning, other times to let us know they appreciated us girls.
On this particular morning, I got out of my car, shut the door, and heard an air horn blast through the quiet morning. I waved back to the truck and walked into work. Then I heard another blast from an air horn. "Damn, I"m looking good today!" I thought to myself. I smiled and walked through the company side door.
I walked back to my desk with a smile on my face. At that point, my boss is looking at me with a smile on his face too. "What?" I asked him. He put his finger on his chin and said, "Could you please stand up and twirl around?" I thought it was an odd question, but we were close, and I was looking good that day, so I did it.
I twirled around. When I was facing him I even did a little curtsey and sat back down on my chair. "Mmmhmmm, yep," he said, "I think you have a tear in your skirt." I jumped up to feel around the back of my skirt. I felt around where the slit in the back of the skirt was. Nope, still intact. "What do you mean?" I asked him. I turned my back to him so he could point out what he meant. He said, "Your skirt. It has a tear in it." So I felt around the back, a little higher.
I, in fact, had split the skirt from the bottom hem to my waistband of my new, cute little mini skirt. In fact, I walked through a parking lot, through my office building, and to my desk with my entire ass hanging out of my skirt. All I have to say is that I'm glad I was wearing panties that day. My only regret was that they were the ones that said "Where's the beef" on the butt.
After I had my child, I had lost a lot of weight. I was pretty proud of myself. I weighed less after giving birth than before I had gotten pregnant. To say I was kinda smug about it, well, that's probably exactly true.
I had returned to work. Excited to get back to work and be with my friends and co-workers again. On this particularly beautiful fall day, I had decided to wear a new mini skirt. It wasn't trashy-short, but dammit, I looked good in it. I dressed very carefully in the morning before work. Cute skirt, matching blouse, flats. I hopped in my car and drove off to work.
I worked in an industrial park at the time. Lots of trucks were moving inventory in and out 24 hours a day. So it wasn't unusual to see trucks moving slowly down the road. Sometimes they would blast their air horns at us girls. Sometimes to scare the crap out of us in the morning, other times to let us know they appreciated us girls.
On this particular morning, I got out of my car, shut the door, and heard an air horn blast through the quiet morning. I waved back to the truck and walked into work. Then I heard another blast from an air horn. "Damn, I"m looking good today!" I thought to myself. I smiled and walked through the company side door.
I walked back to my desk with a smile on my face. At that point, my boss is looking at me with a smile on his face too. "What?" I asked him. He put his finger on his chin and said, "Could you please stand up and twirl around?" I thought it was an odd question, but we were close, and I was looking good that day, so I did it.
I twirled around. When I was facing him I even did a little curtsey and sat back down on my chair. "Mmmhmmm, yep," he said, "I think you have a tear in your skirt." I jumped up to feel around the back of my skirt. I felt around where the slit in the back of the skirt was. Nope, still intact. "What do you mean?" I asked him. I turned my back to him so he could point out what he meant. He said, "Your skirt. It has a tear in it." So I felt around the back, a little higher.
I, in fact, had split the skirt from the bottom hem to my waistband of my new, cute little mini skirt. In fact, I walked through a parking lot, through my office building, and to my desk with my entire ass hanging out of my skirt. All I have to say is that I'm glad I was wearing panties that day. My only regret was that they were the ones that said "Where's the beef" on the butt.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Breathing again, or maybe not....
I came
I saw
I conquered
Well, I made it another day. It's always interesting learning about what others see in you or feel about you. I'm scary. Instead of being a disappointment. Scary. I operate on a different frequency than others, therefore, am scary. They don't know how to communicate with me. I say yet again, how about speaking to me and not about me? How about asking me and not others? Don't send an emissary to do your evil bidding. How about you face me? I won't take your head off... immediately. If you can't take the heat, stop feeding the flames.
I saw a person cry today, Actually, I made a person cry today, and it made me feel better. I didn't smile, but deep down, I felt better. Is that wrong? Is that why I'm scary? I don't feel particularly evil in my human make up. I was told that when I'm really, truly angry, I build a wall that is so solid, nobody and nothing will get though. When I'm like that, I suck the sunshine out of the universe and leave you out in the cold. I'm not rude or hostile, actually extremely polite. It freaks people out. I don't know what to do with that information about me. When I'm well and truly pissed, I WANT to suck the sunshine out of your life and leave you in the cold. You should think about what you've done or said to me or about me. I want you to remember this side of me and not repeat the same mistake. For there won't be a next time in my book.
I conquered a fear. I went about and did something new today. I went outside my comfort zone. I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I did it, and I think it might be good for me. I think about it and I almost feel the corners of my mouth turn up in a half-smile. Maybe it's still a smirk, but it's better than a frown or scowl. Am I relieved? I don't know. I still feel like I'm sinking and someone is still handing me bricks, just not as fast. But maybe I can see the life jacket that is just out of my reach. Being handed to me by a smiling face....
I saw
I conquered
Well, I made it another day. It's always interesting learning about what others see in you or feel about you. I'm scary. Instead of being a disappointment. Scary. I operate on a different frequency than others, therefore, am scary. They don't know how to communicate with me. I say yet again, how about speaking to me and not about me? How about asking me and not others? Don't send an emissary to do your evil bidding. How about you face me? I won't take your head off... immediately. If you can't take the heat, stop feeding the flames.
I saw a person cry today, Actually, I made a person cry today, and it made me feel better. I didn't smile, but deep down, I felt better. Is that wrong? Is that why I'm scary? I don't feel particularly evil in my human make up. I was told that when I'm really, truly angry, I build a wall that is so solid, nobody and nothing will get though. When I'm like that, I suck the sunshine out of the universe and leave you out in the cold. I'm not rude or hostile, actually extremely polite. It freaks people out. I don't know what to do with that information about me. When I'm well and truly pissed, I WANT to suck the sunshine out of your life and leave you in the cold. You should think about what you've done or said to me or about me. I want you to remember this side of me and not repeat the same mistake. For there won't be a next time in my book.
I conquered a fear. I went about and did something new today. I went outside my comfort zone. I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I did it, and I think it might be good for me. I think about it and I almost feel the corners of my mouth turn up in a half-smile. Maybe it's still a smirk, but it's better than a frown or scowl. Am I relieved? I don't know. I still feel like I'm sinking and someone is still handing me bricks, just not as fast. But maybe I can see the life jacket that is just out of my reach. Being handed to me by a smiling face....
Friday, January 4, 2008
Nuclear Winter
There. I've said it. I've gone beyond nuclear meltdown and have moved swiftly into shutdown. Meltdown is usually safer, at least I'm verbal. Shutdown means just that. Shut down. Non-verbal. Sulking. Stewing. Finger on the trigger, waiting for an unsuspecting bystander.
Do I tell them I'm not strong enough? That they've broken the spirit in me?
I can't even verbalize the hurt I feel. The anger that is just boiling under the skin. Making me tear up. Frustration.
I wish I could say, out loud, what I feel. But, every time I start to say something it comes out in sputters only to quickly flow into a stream of obscenities. At that moment, I'm only good for pointing and screaming. My message not conveyed very well and I'm a mess.
Or, do I hang in there? Like a tick. Not letting go. Making them see me and deal with me. Proving them wrong. Making them be more creative with the torture they inflict on me daily. I don't know. Do I rise above the bullshit? How do you do that when you're not in a pile of shit, but quicksand?
Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
~ Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
Do I tell them I'm not strong enough? That they've broken the spirit in me?
I can't even verbalize the hurt I feel. The anger that is just boiling under the skin. Making me tear up. Frustration.
I wish I could say, out loud, what I feel. But, every time I start to say something it comes out in sputters only to quickly flow into a stream of obscenities. At that moment, I'm only good for pointing and screaming. My message not conveyed very well and I'm a mess.
Or, do I hang in there? Like a tick. Not letting go. Making them see me and deal with me. Proving them wrong. Making them be more creative with the torture they inflict on me daily. I don't know. Do I rise above the bullshit? How do you do that when you're not in a pile of shit, but quicksand?
Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
~ Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
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