Hello operator?

While her phone call was encouraging. I've heard it all before. I can tell you the tale because I know it by heart.

This coming year holds many promises for her if she does what she says she's going to do.

The newfound strength in her voice was something new and I applaud her decisions for a change. Usually her ideas are cringe-inducing on the best of days.

No more midnight binges which lead to drunk dialing.

Her promises of continuing her medication and sobriety made me smile.

A new home and focus had her turn a new leaf.

I pray that she sticks to it.

One too many times I've seen her slide on the slippery slope of self-destruction.

Maybe this year will be the beginning of new and wonderful things for her.

I hope so.

The end is near...

The sun slowly edges its way below the tree line.

Once the sun is set, my vacation is over.

The shadows become stretched as they reach for my chair.

I am no longer held in the sun's embrace.

As the world turns, I am reminded that time marches on.

Even when I wish I had a magic stop-watch to put this day on hold.

The three Rs...

Things to do

People to see

Places to go

It's that time of year when I unplug from the cyber world and take care of business.

I wind up battling my way through the office supply store looking for the correct calculator or pencil that is required by the teacher.

Even though the school is going paperless, I still wind up having to buy reams and reams of paper.

My calendar is marked up with places I have to go and meet with people I don't want to meet.

I'm heading into a season of "Have to" and don't wanna.

While I complain about all I have to do in preparation, I'm still relieved that it's not me going back to school but my son.

Age does have it's advantages.

Paranormal Imagination...

I wake up at 3 am every night.

I’m pretty sure the house is haunted.

Not by anything malevolent. It feels more like watching. Checking in on a child.

Maybe it perceives me as the child?

It’s possible.

I’ve been told I act like a child sometimes.

The covers are pulled up to my chin and I stare out into the darkened room. Right around the doorway.

There’s nothing to see, but I can feel that something is there. Whenever I wake up in the middle of the night at this house I wind up staring at the same spot.

Sometimes I nod my head in acknowledgement and roll over – quickly going back to sleep. Other times I pull the covers over my head and wish whatever it is would go away.

For some reason I am unable to just roll over tonight. I get the feeling that it wants me to acknowledge it, but I’m afraid to give in and do it.

I stare and stare at the same spot. My eyes squint until my vision is blurry. I try to roll over and then quickly back to maybe catch the invisible spectre being visible. None of my tricks work. Not that I actually want to see anything hovering in the doorway. I’d probably shit myself if that happened.

I nudge Willie to tell him that I can’t sleep. He tells me he can’t sleep because I keep waking him up.

Hmph.

I dangle my foot over the edge of the bed and try to get comfortable. My attempt at nodding off fails miserably as one of the scarier images of “Paranormal Activity” latches itself into my mind.

Visions of me being dragged down the hallway screaming make my heart pound.

Oh well, so much for sleeping tonight.

Cake or death...

She hints and pushes nearly every day.

Always asking for something from me.

Do you have…
Can I have…
I need…
Can I borrow…

Normally I don’t mind bringing in things for her or giving my last piece of whatever. I try to share and be a nice person.

What I do mind is when she brings in something and only shares with her select group of friends and not me.

I don’t necessarily want her piece of shit, I just want to be offered a piece of shit.