Green and leafy, carefully placed in a sturdy planter. Watered and loved until ready to be placed in my hands.
I received this gift with a smile, yet I'm sure I saw the plant flinch when it was handed over to me.
Does it know? Is there an ominous aura draped over my home that only flora can sense?
If they could tell, they would see my flowers are silk. There are only a few sickly plants lurking around.
Tell-tale signs of kitty nibblings on the leaves or my blatant neglect that renders them crunchy and dusty.
My reputation for having a black thumb of death deters most well wishers and plant givers.
Try as they might, there are few who aim to break the curse that has been bestowed upon me.
I generously thank those people and silently pray that I get it right this time.
Again.
In the meantime I must toss the remnants of a spider plant that didn't make it through the winter this year.
ps - sorry mom.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Chocolat...
The cold brown disc with rainbow sprinkles lays in the center of my hand.
If I wait too long the chocolate will start to melt in my palm.
Oh, you beauteus little thing.
Just the right size for a nibble. Too small to make me feel guilty about eating it unless I eat the entire bucket.
And I just might.
If I wait too long the chocolate will start to melt in my palm.
Oh, you beauteus little thing.
Just the right size for a nibble. Too small to make me feel guilty about eating it unless I eat the entire bucket.
And I just might.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
The Grapevine...
The tendrils slowly unwind their tight grasp on the various objects they managed to snake their way in to.
Piece by piece, items are let go.
The vines pull back. Usually they are moving outwards. Reaching for new and different pieces of the world to clap on to.
An act of self-preservation bring the vines back home.
As they pull themselves in, they wrap around and around the base of the grapevine. Not to strangle itself, but to give it more strength. To build a stronger foundation.
For the summer sun will return and the gentle rains will nourish and beckon the tendrils to once again reach for the heavens.
Piece by piece, items are let go.
The vines pull back. Usually they are moving outwards. Reaching for new and different pieces of the world to clap on to.
An act of self-preservation bring the vines back home.
As they pull themselves in, they wrap around and around the base of the grapevine. Not to strangle itself, but to give it more strength. To build a stronger foundation.
For the summer sun will return and the gentle rains will nourish and beckon the tendrils to once again reach for the heavens.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Grunge era...
A snapshot in time at the perfect moment caught a child covered head to bare toe in a thin layer of dirt.
I gaze at the frayed picture and a slow smile spreads across my face.
His bright eyes peer back at me. A kid having a very good day.
My eyes drift over his face and I see his pink skin has a brown tint with a darker smudge covering his perfect nose.
The only clean thing on him are his white teeth smiling back at me.
His neck had dirty crease marks making stripes on him. His shirt and shorts were already brown.
His hands (that I was constantly cleaning) gripped the bicycle handle bars easily. The grime stuck to him as if it were second skin.
His knees and shins were also coated in the unavoidable muck.
But my favorite part of this picture are his toes. They look like dirty little sausages planted on the pedals. 10 digits covered with the brown coating the rest of the body has on it.
How he got so dirty is beyond me. But I'm so glad I was there to catch a moment in time of a wonderfully dirty day.
I don't know if I've ever been that dirty. Maybe, but probably not.
What I do know is that I cherish this picture because it's the genuine smile that gleams through the grunge on my little boy.
I gaze at the frayed picture and a slow smile spreads across my face.
His bright eyes peer back at me. A kid having a very good day.
My eyes drift over his face and I see his pink skin has a brown tint with a darker smudge covering his perfect nose.
The only clean thing on him are his white teeth smiling back at me.
His neck had dirty crease marks making stripes on him. His shirt and shorts were already brown.
His hands (that I was constantly cleaning) gripped the bicycle handle bars easily. The grime stuck to him as if it were second skin.
His knees and shins were also coated in the unavoidable muck.
But my favorite part of this picture are his toes. They look like dirty little sausages planted on the pedals. 10 digits covered with the brown coating the rest of the body has on it.
How he got so dirty is beyond me. But I'm so glad I was there to catch a moment in time of a wonderfully dirty day.
I don't know if I've ever been that dirty. Maybe, but probably not.
What I do know is that I cherish this picture because it's the genuine smile that gleams through the grunge on my little boy.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Yes, we are open...
My thoughts are fluid and they spill on to the paper. I cannot write as fast as I think. Osmosis would be great right now. If I could rub the page on my head and have the words appear it would be perfect.
But even when I try it, nothing happens and I'm forced to scribble it all by hand.
I've opened up my heart and soul for your perusal.
Do you understand me better than before? Or am I still an enigma wrapped up in a riddle shrouded by mystery?
Because sometimes I feel I'm out on the cracking limb with no safety net.
But even when I try it, nothing happens and I'm forced to scribble it all by hand.
I've opened up my heart and soul for your perusal.
Do you understand me better than before? Or am I still an enigma wrapped up in a riddle shrouded by mystery?
Because sometimes I feel I'm out on the cracking limb with no safety net.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
All for one, and one for all...
I thought she and her friend were so cool. One was mysteriously aloof and the other was loud and fun.
They made a dynamic duo that I wanted to be a part of.
Slowly they let me in and I became part of the group. Not as the third wheel, but more like the third leg in a tripod.
We were trouble, plain and simple.
James was smart and preppy-pretty. Diggity was gorgeous and fun. I was the sarcastic tomboy.
Each of our personalities held something the others wanted to emulate.
Smart.
Fun.
Witty.
We found that after trust was gained that we learned that we all hid the same childhood nightmares.
Abandonment.
Heartbreak.
Abuse.
What began as a superficial tie became a life-long bond.
The have walked in my shoes. When they said, "We understand." They really did.
We became blood-sisters. The kind where pins and bloody thumbs are involved.
At age 12 it's a very big rite-of-passage. It was a promise to one another that when the world fell apart, we'd help the other pick up the pieces.
Miles have drifted between us. Lives have gotten complicated. I still think back on the day where we played hooky, went to the beach, and swore in blood to be there for each other.
And I still am.
They made a dynamic duo that I wanted to be a part of.
Slowly they let me in and I became part of the group. Not as the third wheel, but more like the third leg in a tripod.
We were trouble, plain and simple.
James was smart and preppy-pretty. Diggity was gorgeous and fun. I was the sarcastic tomboy.
Each of our personalities held something the others wanted to emulate.
Smart.
Fun.
Witty.
We found that after trust was gained that we learned that we all hid the same childhood nightmares.
Abandonment.
Heartbreak.
Abuse.
What began as a superficial tie became a life-long bond.
The have walked in my shoes. When they said, "We understand." They really did.
We became blood-sisters. The kind where pins and bloody thumbs are involved.
At age 12 it's a very big rite-of-passage. It was a promise to one another that when the world fell apart, we'd help the other pick up the pieces.
Miles have drifted between us. Lives have gotten complicated. I still think back on the day where we played hooky, went to the beach, and swore in blood to be there for each other.
And I still am.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Twisted Mister...
Your sleep was unsettled. I watched you twist and turn. Not finding a comfortable position. Huffing and puffing let me know something was not right with you.
When I asked if you were alright, your voice was shaky and weak. The closer I looked, I could see your face pinched in pain as another wave hit you.
Panic set in my heart but you remained calm. I was ready to go to the hospital, even just to get you pain medication. But you turned down my offers.
With no way of helping you, I offered only what I knew - food. Jello, tea, coffee, toast, Motrin, water, cookies, and chocolate.
I paced the room and my mind raced. All I could do was watch and feel helpless.
I was afraid to touch you, yet I couldn't stop myself from hovering. Even though when I'm in pain I just want to crawl under a rock and be left alone.
After a long night (because things like this never, ever happen in the middle of the day) you finally fell asleep.
You will live another day and so will I. You are never sick, so when it happens I don't know how to handle it. I am rattled to the core.
So, I am happy to announce that you are the proud papa of twins. Twin kidney stones.
I think the names you chose are perfect.
OMG!
and
WTF?!
When I asked if you were alright, your voice was shaky and weak. The closer I looked, I could see your face pinched in pain as another wave hit you.
Panic set in my heart but you remained calm. I was ready to go to the hospital, even just to get you pain medication. But you turned down my offers.
With no way of helping you, I offered only what I knew - food. Jello, tea, coffee, toast, Motrin, water, cookies, and chocolate.
I paced the room and my mind raced. All I could do was watch and feel helpless.
I was afraid to touch you, yet I couldn't stop myself from hovering. Even though when I'm in pain I just want to crawl under a rock and be left alone.
After a long night (because things like this never, ever happen in the middle of the day) you finally fell asleep.
You will live another day and so will I. You are never sick, so when it happens I don't know how to handle it. I am rattled to the core.
So, I am happy to announce that you are the proud papa of twins. Twin kidney stones.
I think the names you chose are perfect.
OMG!
and
WTF?!
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