I thought I saw you the other day.
Which was impossible and you know why.
I saw her across a crowded parking lot. Her hair pulled
back in a clip. She was smiling. Possibly even laughing as she turned her head towards
me to look over her shoulder. Her eyes twinkling and her body relaxed as she
walked away from me.
The view stopped me in my tracks and your name whispered
through my thoughts. And, even though I knew it wasn’t you, for a brief moment
it was and I smiled.
I miss you.
You don’t even know how many times I’ve wanted to pick up
the phone to call you. Good news. Bad news. No news. Just to hear your voice. You encouraged
me to be a bad influence through your laughter, feigned shock, and admonishment.
I was always willing to perform for you.
I miss you.
It’s a hurt that may never fully go away but I’m still
not going to visit you. I’m holding a grudge and I’m stubborn and I don’t want
to yell at you even though you deserve it. So don’t think that you popping up
in public or out of the corner of my eye will make me buckle.
I miss you.
Don’t you know I feel lost now? You were my go-to person
and I can’t find a replacement. Nobody else can fill the void you left. Some
have half-heartedly offered – their ulterior motives woven in-between the kind
words. Others are just not “right.” You know what I mean.
And that’s the problem. You always knew what I meant.
