His surly attitude was aimed towards me.
The words, if spoken by anybody else, were benign enough.
He managed to inject enough venom to strike me where it hurt the most.
My heart.
He has become a stranger before my very eyes.
Is it his lack of sleep that makes his reasoning like that of a crack-head?
Whatever the issue, I am forced to take a step back and try to not show the pain inflicted in my eyes.
Mentally I eyeball the bricks I build my wall with.
This is how it starts.
I can't shut him out. I have to let it slide and not take it personally.
Now I understand why some animals eat their young.
5 comments:
Hang in there - it will pass in time. Now you know why I told you that although I always loved you there were times that I didn't like you very much. It's not a good feeling to have. He is a good kid & going through what every kid has to go through eventually. Your sweet boy will return!!!!! Actually, he's still in there trying to find his way. Someone once said when kids are at their worst is when they need love the most. It sure ain't easy at times! Love you & love him. Bizzie Lizzie
Heya Jenn. I remember wanting more freedom as a teenager, and less scrutiny from my mom. There was a time when I didn't care what she said, even if I knew it came from a place of caring and protection - if it seemed in any way judgmental, overbearing, intrusive, or otherwise "motherly" (and only by my own unreasonable definition of the word), I absolutely resented it. And I would look for the most hurtful things to say to my mom just to get her off my back.
When I look back, sometimes I regret the way I acted. But I really do love my mom and appreciate everything she's done for me. It took several years for me to realize that, but eventually I did.
I think your boy will realize it eventually too. He may even know it now, but just be too stubborn and too teenage to acknowledge it. But he still loves you. Afterall, you're his mom.
Hang in there.
He is a good kid. I know that. He's asserting himself and I thank my lucky stars this is how he's doing it. It could be much worse.
I was much worse.
I wonder if a head lock is still considered a hug?
I know your birthday has just passed or is coming up, so here I guess I'm wishing you a happy b-day month.
Ah, the joys of parenthood. I don't know about you, but I remember I put my own parents through some ridiculous torture back in the day.
You hang in there sweetie. It will get better. You just gotta keep talking.
Thanks for the best wishes at my place. Oh how much would I love to turn up at his door in a uniform. he'd proably wet his pants LOL
xxx
Post a Comment