Thursday, November 22, 2007

Just Looking Back

My heart goes out to you my friend.

I am angry for you, not at you. I hope you know that.

I can't fix your broken heart, but I can give you a band-aid and seal it with a kiss. We can place our shattered pieces next to one another. Our hearts probably look very similar.

Some may not understand how you feel. But you know I do. I do because I walk in your shoes everyday, and it sucks. Some days I cry for the things that should have been but weren't. Other days I scream in the wind. Going nowhere and not being heard, but exhausting me enough to not care anymore.

Abandonment.

Such a heady word. An action word. It's not supposed to be a feeling word, but it is. To me it feels black and ugly. Full of anger and resentment. Sometimes it's sadness and longing.

Just know this, you are not alone and that I love you.

Honey, it's time for us to get new shoes and walk the hell away from Abandonment. It does not suit us and we can do better. We are better.

9 comments:

sister midnite said...

You deserve the best, Jenn. Whether this post is for you or a friend, I wish you the best. *hugz*

Jennicula said...

Thanks Sister M. You do too. :)

Anonymous said...

I like the vision of putting on new shoes & walking away from Abandonment, but it sure is hard to turn your back on it, isn't it? It keeps making you want to look back & ask "What if?" L

Jennicula said...

It's so hard to not look back and wonder.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes those new shoes just aren't enough. They sure fit better than the old ones though. L

Jennicula said...

Maybe that's why I have an obsession with shoes? :)

Anonymous said...

Keep thinking of those ruby slippers. Dorothy was right. There is no place like home. When I think of where my new shoes have taken me, I'm thankful, because of the wonderful family I have that I would not have had before the big "A". I'd have some of it, of course, but not all. L

Jennicula said...

I got new boots today. Maybe retail therapy works?

Anonymous said...

These boots were made for walking. Bare feet are good too. L