I've been thinking of him lately. It's been a while since his name popped into my head. A stroll through the local mall, brushing up against a stranger, I inhaled his cologne. It's not a popular smell now, so I noticed it right away. Although, the guys who wear this scent tend to bathe in it. I thought of him.
The smell stuck in my nose for the rest of the day and I thought of him. My memory is now but a wisp. His edges are faded. I can't quite recall the color of his eyes even though a million years ago I looked deep into them hoping I was "the one." I wasn't and it's ok. Things turned out well for me.
The dreams had stopped long ago. But while I was having them, he was solid. I could still hear his wicked laughter and see the glint in his eyes. He was always up to something and it was usually trouble.
It's been 10 years. 10 years since I've seen his smiling face. At times I can't believe it's only been that long. Other times, it's a world away. 10 years ago I had a toddler and was a newlywed. I was responsible. 10 years ago he had found love finally. Found a woman to tame his inner demons. He was happy and irresponsible.
My life has continued. My hair grew long, I raised a family. I've moved on and lived life.
He has not. He's the same as he was when I last saw him. Only now his broken body, a shell of what he had been, is six feet under. He will never change, never marry, never have children, never laugh wickedly at me again.
And, I miss that. I miss him. I still do.
1 comment:
Your cup is full & overflowing, but I know the ache is still there. He has become ageless & will always be the young man you knew. Old age & wrinkles will never dim the twinkle in his eyes. But,it's better to grow old & wrinkley with someone you love. Bizzie Lizzie
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