Slowly, I step back. The tethers that had once held me so tightly have loosened their grip and I am able to free myself. As strong as my bindings had been – made of leather and bound tightly as to hurt me – they are now but a memory lightly grazing over my skin.
At one time, I thought breaking away would cause such pain that I wouldn’t be able to bear it. The complacency of being held too tightly was doing more damage than protecting me. Offering the chance to others to tie the knots tighter and tighter, I didn't realize that I was the one harming myself. I envisioned that when I was finally able to rip myself loose, that scars would remain from the struggle of separation.
The tethers kept me from being who I really am. What I really am.
Present day shows the ties that were there are no longer holding me. I was just in that position for so long I didn’t realize that they were gone. I didn’t know how to look for the signs of freedom. Now I see it plain as day and I wonder why it took me so long to figure it out.
Quietly, I set myself free and slip out the back door. No questions asked.
Unbound
Unnoticed
Unbothered
Unencumbered
Uninhibited
Uncomplicated, and
Untouched.
Ps – It was the neglect and games that set me free. “I told you so” is not really necessary even though you were so right. Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
5 comments:
Wow. Great words.
Britt.
I'm still amazed. Our teachers hide in the strangest of guises.
To date, the greatest lesson I ever learned was when all my acquaintances, what I thought was a support structure fell through twelve years ago.
This is beautiful.
If you want to destroy my sweater,
hold this thread while I walk away,
watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked,
lying on the floor, I've come undone!
Sorry, couldn't help myself. :P
Seriously though, I really enjoy this post. I seem to be a master of putting myself in situations where others are allowed to hurt me. I always think it's them. They're keeping me there, they're holding me down, they're causing me pain. Eventually I realize that it's me who put myself there, and it's me who's keeping myself there, even choosing to stay when I know I'll keep getting hurt. When I'm finally able to walk away, I wonder why I couldn't have figured it out sooner.
But I think the important part is that we DO figure it and we choose to move on. And hopefully we learn something from the experience. (Although personally, no matter how much I learn, I still end up back there again!)
Hello
Your babble is always welcome in my house. :)
The things I was willing to sacrifice for the false sense of security was amazing. Maybe not security. I'm not sure what I was trading, but it wasn't worth it in the long run.
I feel you on this. Isn't it funny how you feel you're holding on for a reason, but in the end after you've walked away, you're not even sure what that was anymore? I can't tell you how many times I've been through that.
And I forgot to tell you -- I dig the new layout!
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