I feel the restraints wrapping around my wrists. They try and try to make me conform. I am pushed and pulled to fit the mold. It never works. I buck like an unbroken horse. Kicking and screaming, they try to tie me down and make me one of them. Sit. Be quiet. Behave. "Why can't you just try?"
Dammit. I just can't. I chew through the straps and run.
They tell me, "Go right." And I immediately feel the urge to go left.
They tell me, "No, you can't do that." And I immediately give it a try.
They tell me, "Wait." And I immediately rush in blindly.
I'm labeled difficult, odd, quirky, scary, funny, and nuts. That's ok. I'm just being me. I don't fit in any one category. I'm an outsider who sometimes longs to be with the "in" crowd. But once in, screams to get out.
Those who love me, love my oddities. To them I'm interesting. Those who don't love me, just don't understand me. And that's ok. I don't understand me either.
7 comments:
I Love You !!!!!!!
I will go "left" with you any day.
hi there Jenn!!!
i am a little odd and crazy too!
but i conform too damn easily even though i don't want to! i am getting better though at doing what i want to do!!
anyway how are you doing? i see your lunch time pop ins and other comments....time zones do suck!
take care and see you around!
We really do share a wavelength.
A lot of the time, you write the things I was already thinking about, except you do it much more eloquently and concisely than I ever could. (As evidenced by some of my really long posts.) I really like the way you described this one.
Btw, thanks for the "quack" explanation. I might have heard my own sinuses make the same sound, but I've never known it as a quack. Next time I have a head cold, I will pay closer attention.
I know, I'm slacking on the "I" post. I'm having a hard time with it. Everytime I look at it, it fills me with contemplation, and I can't spit out any answers. Perhaps I should just stop thinking about it and type the first thing that comes into my head.
To be oh so wise and deep....
Screw them!!!!
As you say, you have people who love you just the way you are. The rest need to find a hobby.
I came up with a little story because of your comment the other day.
Jennicula, to the outside world a humble paper pusher, but by night she is JENNICULA, a magician's assistant who roams the dangerous streets and alternate dimensions of the universe defeating the boring and mundane with her sequins of Spectacular Power!!!!!
*************
Alright... I posted it.
Though I'm still second guessing my answers. :\
Katherine, I sound like a super hero with sequins. I couldn't ask for more. Thank you for the smile.
Andrea, I stopped by your place. Good job.
FASC, I stopped by your place too. I hate time zones too!
Beach Baby - You've always gone left with me, thank God!
Thank you Jennicula for your support.
I'm just so glad I found out near the beginiing of the relationship.
I guess it would have been easy to say, sure we can carry on, your wife won't find out but I'm just not like that.
I told him to go home and be faithful.
I don't hate the guy, he gave me confidence that someone could actually like me.
Sucks that it couldn't be though.
But I value myself as more than a bit on the side. And I have that confidence from you guys.
You are a great bunch and I am so lucky to have found you all.
I'm labeled difficult, odd, quirky, scary, funny, and nuts.
But I thought they were the best qualities.
You stay just as you are sweetie.
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