With twitchy movements and wild eyes, she plays with another cheap cigarette. Nicotine stained fingers from chain-smoking flicked the ashes away nervously.
Much to my disappointment, time had not changed her. Addictions and poor life decisions have played havoc with her looks and mental state. The gap between our worlds was just as apparent as it was 12 years ago. Huge. It's the difference between night and day, cat and dog, vanilla and chocolate. Sober and not sober.
She appeared to be more nervous than me. Her speech was slurry and erratic and was unaware that the stories she told had no beginning or ending. She started everything in the middle.
She is drifting aimlessly through life and is reaching out to me to be her anchor. How can I help her? I barely have a grip on my life, let alone helping to keep her stable. It's the past playing out before me again.
How do I help her when I don't even know what language she's speaking?
6 comments:
hey Jenn!
Sounds like the visit didn't go so well then?!! so much for my thoughts on it! haha!
sory though, sounds a bloody nightmare. you shouldn't feel you have to be there for her. it isn't selfish when sometimes you just don't know what to do or have the energy and time to do it.
toughy though.
take care Jenn.
thanks for popping by!
sory = sorry
obviously!
Mustard?
Mustard?
Where are you girl?
Jenn, I hope you don't feel obligated to help her. I mean, it's great if you want to, but you don't have to. Just remember that.
Also, it's possible that you can help just by talking or spending a little time with her. It doesn't have to be huge. Maybe she's like my army boy, just needing a sane voice once in a while to help her see through the clouds?
I'm okay! Right here!
I'll try to catch you on AIM sometime, okay? I hope you're doing well.
Sometimes the sun stops shining and rain starts pouring.
Sometimes, you miss a person so much that just one little 'hello' brings a smile to their face.
You are someone a call a friend jenn, I am sorry for not being around much but i just wanted to say hello and that i miss you.
Take care, my ruler friend.
xx
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